I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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