I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize