How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize