When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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