We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
