So drunk its hurt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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