i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
