yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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