if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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