i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
