do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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