i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
