He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
