At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
