I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
