lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize