So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Randomize
