I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
