Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize