3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize