Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
