i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
