I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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