____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
