im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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