So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
