Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
only you would photoshop your dick
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize