Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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