Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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