The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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