So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
