well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize