I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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