ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
