Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize