yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
