i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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