some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm always down for nudity.
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