hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize