So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
