my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
