wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize