For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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