and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
