We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
