I seem to have left my pride at pride
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
