I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
