idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize