Where did you get a picture of my penis
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
