the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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