1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
