This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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