I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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