I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
