i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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