I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
