i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
