I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
