Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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